Antwerp Awards The Ken Barker Award for timekeeping awarded to the person who was later than Ken to everything – Graeme Cornish. Graeme was awarded with a snail fridge magnet! The Improvement Award for not winning the Ken Barker award this year, and getting to the coach before James – Ken Barker! The Eurovision Award was to have been presented by Terry Wogan, but he sadly couldn’t present the award for the best Eurovision dancing to the Floral Dance – Sue and Lisa The Mothercare Award for having to wear a bib for his lunch and not realising his t-shirt was on back to front – Awarded to the new band baby – Richard Lovett The Special Guest Appearance Award was to have been presented to the mouse but sadly he couldn’t leave his post at the Hotel Mozart breakfast room, so we presented his award to the person who saw him first – Rachel Bleach. Rachel was presented with a slice of cheese. The Crocodile Dundee Award for frightening the life out of a busker who had an accordion – but it was only a tiny accordion, this person had a REAL accordion – Basil Preuveneers The Squeaky Clean Awards for those whom not even Belgium’s most famous detective, Hercule Poirot, could have found any dirt on them – Mike Burton, Julie Pilgrim, Mike Stallybrass, Catherine Stallybrass, Jean Morton and Nicky Maher. All were awarded with a bar of soap, bottle of shampoo or bottle of shower gel. The Baden Powell Century Award for recreating a camp fire and knowing all the words to the Irish Rover – Anne Taylor The Tesco Award for the person for whom every little helps. We can’t help wondering if it was a Tesco trolley that came to this person’s assistance late one night – Irina. Irina was presented with a Tesco bag. [NB – the authors are reliably informed that Irina’s non-appearance the following day was due to a migraine. Note to Mr. Gordon – no mention of insect repellent.] The Popeye Award for the man who made sure he got his vitamins in every helping of beer – Ron The Del Monte Award for the fruity lady who ensured that Belgium’s raspberry farmers continued to make a profit by selling their produce to brewers – Jenny Lunn The Couple of the Trip Award for the couple who were statistically proven to call each other ‘Dear’ the most during the trip – James and Hope. The happy couple were presented with small pots of ‘Honey’ The Octopus Award for the man who juggled six different pieces of percussion and didn’t drop a single one – Adam Payn The Children’s BBC Award for the entertainment troupe of the trip. One member looked after the baby while the other two were often seen to retire (briefly) after the watershed. All three could be heard to say “to me, to you” at various points when helping people home after a night out – The Chuckle Brothers, aka Darren, Jeff and Gary Keir The Englishman Abroad Award for the chap who walked into Belgium’s best Beer Café and ordered a Guinness! Pils was just ‘Not Cricket’ – Dave Maher. Dave was presented with a cricket fridge magnet. The Kleptomaniac Award for the person who had fought the urge for some time, but just couldn’t keep it under control and succumbed on the last night and stole a beer glass – Clare Lipscombe The Butter Me Up Request for the person who will be receiving free beer tokens every year from now on for the best beer café in Belgium – Maggie Stallybrass. Maggie was presented with a small pat of butter The Antwerp Philharmonic Award for the person who sang all the instrumental parts during a karaoke session – Helen Stallybrass The Parents of Courage Award for the parents who trusted their beloved son loose in the bars of Antwerp in the presence of corrupting influences … though he only drank Guinness! Carol and Chris Maher The Care in the Community Award for the man whose cornet playing made pensioners fall over themselves to dance with Kirsty, and made homeless men get in touch with their musical side and join in on a harmonica – Roger Bleach The Patience Award for the men who have been forced to sit around all weekend doing nothing but drink beer rather than being needed to drive the band around and fill their days with traffic jams and maps – Pappy and Ray. The drivers were presented with a carton of orange juice to show that things were back to normal. The Miss Moneypenny Award for the man who made sure all the finances for the trip were sorted … and well done too! Roger Morton. Roger was presented with a purse to keep the change. The Life and Soul of the Party Award for causing diplomatic incidents, getting tied up by the Chuckle Brothers, dancing with pensioners and generally working her way through Belgium’s trappist red wine stockpile – Kirsty Gibson. Kirsty was presented with a bouncing bobble! The Beautician Award for someone who couldn’t even wait to get to foreign soil before relaxing, and had to have a massage on the ferry barely five minutes out of Dover – Annette The Back Row Babe Honorary Award in recognition of one of the original back row babe’s getting back to her roots – Anne Burton The Hangover of the Trip Award It was thought that Irina was going to walk away with this award after we didn’t see her for a day, but this was due to a migraine [Note to James Gordon – not a virus or insect repellent! Ed.] so the contest was wide open again. Adam had a go on Sunday to win the award, but after the brave faces on Monday morning, it was decided to award an entire group this year. The winner’s had varying stages and degrees of hangover, but as a group they deserve to win! Helen S, Jenny L, Graeme C, Irina, Jeff, Darren and Gary K. The winners were presented with a hip-flask water bottle The Drinker of the Trip Award With no Paul Smith or Steve Cowlin, the field for this trip was again wide open. Ken was downing whiskey on the boat, but his attempt to reclaim the title petered out when we landed on continental soil. A few others made half-hearted efforts, but there was a clear winner by this morning and at the time of making the award the winner was probably still drunk from the night before! Jeff Keir. Jeff was presented with a glass to take his next drink out of The Lifetime Achievement Award was the final award for the man who marked his 20th trip as the man in the middle on a CPB tour. In recognition of the amount of hard work that this person puts in every trip, and all year round, a special award was made. Mike Gray. Mike was presented with a bottle of Zweintij (20?!) Belgian Beer